one of the cruel injustices of working with tiny children - and there are only a few - is that the childhood diseases one normally escapes by entering the quote-unquote adult world where people are quote-unquote mature - those sicknesses rear their ugly little heads again. and, left without the superhuman immune systems common to tiny children, adults such as myself end up on the bus home at two in the afternoon with a stabbing pain in the left ear.
this pain repeats its little dance on my eardrum about every fifteen seconds or so. it especially likes to sneak up on me when i haven't thought about it for a little while, and give me a really good poke.
according to our friends at webmd dot com, in whom we have placed our collective trust for reasons unclear to me, symptoms of an ear infection in a pre-verbal child include excessive fussiness and tugging on the earlobe. thank gourd i can talk, otherwise i'd look like i had an ear infection most of the time. when i was a tiny child myself i had them so often that by the age of three i could wake up in the middle of the night, pad around to my mother's side of their bed, shake her out of slumberland and say, "mamma, i have a ear infection and i need moxie-silling."
true to form, that is what my mother suggested when i called her and excessively fussed over the phone just now. no thank you. since becoming a quote-unquote adult i have developed a deep loathing of antibiotics. since exposing my highly suggestible brain to the wisdom of skinny bitch, that fear has only increased, concurrent with a daymare on a loop about a pig which i think safely guarantees i will never eat pork again. but i still hear the siren song of beef carpaccio, and some small part of me weeps at it loss.
damn you, vegan ladies. how you have made me want to be one of you. but i will say this for the skinny minds behind the media empire: the follow your heart brand vegan cheese is actually not totally horrible. so thanks for that.
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