and if you're a size four, this is the place to be

i'm not sure how comfortable i really am with the use of "green" as a verb, but if - as a lifestyle choice - it gets people to recycle i say hey-okay. even though our recycling is mostly shipped to china to be made into those weird square bags. at least we're moving the trash around a little bit, not just dropping it in a heap somewhere. right? bloody hell.

there's an island of rubbish the size of texas somewhere in the ocean where the tides are just so, did you know that? it actually has a name: the great pacific garbage patch, which i think makes it sound innocuous, like a community garden, like someone is out there pulling weeds and trying to grow cucumbers and california poppies from a field of plastic shopping bags.

in any case, as part of my genuine attempt to become less wasteful myself, i have taken on a new habit: thrift store shopping. most of my peers, irrespective of their level of discretionary income, apparently choose this method of clothes shopping. now, you must understand that when i say "my peers" what i actually mean by that is "all those people i know who are way so much cooler than me." bean, for example. how do people manufacture time and energy out of the unceasing void to find good clothes at thrift stores? that has been my question for years now, ever since my first trip to value village as a preadolescent during grunge rock's heyday. which was not so much a heyday as it was a sputter of minor chords fronted by an incessant whine.

so it was the other evening that i found myself standing in awe of the goodwill flagship store. in awe because that mofo is HUGE. also, considering it was six-thirty on a weekday shortly before halloween, it was in remarkably tidy condition. the point of this venture into the unknown - which, for the curious, smells vaguely of tide with colorsafe bleach and other people - was purely to scope out the available goods. end result: green fuzzy cardigan, pink sheer cardigan, tan corduroy "blazer", pink linen skirt, red floral skirt, a pink collar for grandma moses, ten school folders, and jenga! for thirty bucks.

unfortunately i was unprepared (midsize purse) for this level of success and so was given a plastic bag to carry my purchases home. a bag which in all likelihood i will fill with cat shit and send to a landfill somewhere. oh why does anybody even get out of bed anymore.